Dear Nina Simone,

Dear Nina Simone,

Dear Nina,

            Only a few hours ago I sat in a darkened room and watched a cursory version of your life flit across the screen, until I felt some part of your voice reverberating within me. And I don’t profess to know you, but I felt as though I saw you, and absorbed a bit of your strength.

            And what I want to write to you about is the contradiction within that strength. Because I watched and learned about your lofty ups and trench like lows, and at one moment my mind froze and one thought ran through it. It was: “How could a woman who radiates passion and purpose, who exudes power and pride of self and pure strength, who shines on screen and burns ones years, how could this strong woman have had such a strange and conflicting life? The film implied that for the last 20 years of your life you relinquished control over yourself to others due to your mental health. How? And Why?

            I don’t have a definite answer. The issue at hand I think is that my very emphasis on strength precludes any consideration of your mental health, of the toll that it must have taken to know that your own genius was being used and abused by others: by your husband, by the music industry, by the world. Perhaps the main issue at hand is that the moment you took any agency in the direction of your own life and tried to live it the way you wanted to, it was branded as problematic. Society wouldn’t let you be a classical pianist any more than they would let you be a political activist. How much pigeonholing can one be expected to take? No wonder at the toxicity that seemed to plague much of your working and personal life.

Of course, this is a private letter that will not be ever sent. You would probably being irate at the nerve of someone passing any amount of judgement on your life. But if I could send it, I truly wonder what you might say.

Sincerely,
Lauren Nolen