Dear Helga

Dear Helga,

Your soul and your identity are trapped in liminal space almost constantly. Between your racial identity (white or black), your religious identity (Christian or not), and your romantic identity (happily married or not), you are in an in - between state. I imagine it must be hard to be all of something and none of something else when you feel so attached to both identities. I was refreshed to hear that you “simply [couldn’t] imagine living forever away from colored people” when considering the idea of staying in Denmark and accepting a marriage proposal. This recognition of both of your racial identities is something that was lost among many light skinned black individuals at the time who passed. Often, they had to abandon their black identity all together so your decision and ability to acknowledge both sides was new to me. From a religious and romantic standpoint your energy to convert, but your apprehension to the tireless demands of marriage to a preacher are very real. You cannot be all of something all of the time, and your life shows this well. It is an honest depiction of the fatigue that comes with belonging to so many conflicting identities. The end of your story was heart breaking, but also so in line with the endings of other stories with Black women. You were tired, and depressed, and trapped between so many worlds, but most importantly you showed an honest portrayal of the life of a black woman.